


nothing but a clown

by mothicalcreatures (laelreenia)



Series: Demons and Detectives [1]
Category: Pet Shop of Horrors
Genre: Detective Noir, Gen, Pre-Relationship, discussions of at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14637507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laelreenia/pseuds/mothicalcreatures
Summary: Leon's introduction to the orientaslist world of film noir goes about how you might expect.





	nothing but a clown

 

“The detective, once an ideal of American manhood, is nothing but a clown.” - Bill Oliver

 

The chief of police slammed his hands down on Leon’s desk. “For the last time Orcot, give it up. All of your evidence is circumstantial _at best_. You’re a police officer not Philip Marlowe or Sam Spade!”

“Who?”

The chief spluttered and then snapped, “You’re not a private eye Orcot!” before stalking off back to his office.

Leon huffed, slumping back in his seat and folding his arms. Trying to find what was really going on in Count D’s pet shop was _not_ nonsense. With as many “circumstantial” deaths of client’s of the pet shop as their were, _something_ was up. Leon just had to figure out what it was.

It was mostly out of curiosity that Leon swung by the public library on his way home, to find out who exactly Philip Marlowe and Sam Spade were.

Fictional detectives from black and white movies and books, apparently. It certainly explained why Leon hadn’t known who they were. He didn’t tend to go for those old type movies or read novels at all, but what the chief said had peaked his interest, so he checked out a couple movies to watch on his upcoming day off.

 

When _Chinatown_ finished playing, Leon was peeved. Why call a movie “Chinatown” if it wasn’t even going to be substantially about Chinatown and the lady in _The Lady from Shanghai,_ that he’d watched prior hadn’t even been from Shanghai. What was even the point of using Chinatown just for the aesthetic? There were real things that happened in Chinatown. Stuff you could definitely make a movie out of. Like Count D’s pet shop. You could call _that_ movie “Chinatown” or something like that, but _Chinatown_ ’s connections to well, Chinatown, Leon found annoyingly sparse. So Leon did what he always did and went down to the pet shop to bother D about it.

 

“It’s quite simple,” D said, sitting down across from Leon and beginning to pour tea for them. “These movies don’t want the reality of Chinatown, they just want the phantom of it.” 

“That’s stupid,” Leon muttered, leaning over to grab his cup of tea before D overloaded it with sugar.

“Indeed,” D said. “But as I’m sure you know, being a detective, the stereotypes that give Chinatown its reputation for vice are not always true. Do you think anyone would make a movie about day to day crime? A corner store being robbed is hardly movie worthy unless it leads to larger things. And Chinatown certainly does not have a monopoly on corner store robberies.”

“Well, they could definitely make a movie about whatever the hell is going on here. Maybe they will, once I’ve got you figured out. I still want to know what the hell was going on with those rabbits you sold that couple.”

D chuckled. “There was nothing wrong with the rabbit. It was simply improperly cared for. It and its offspring became crazed and vicious because of improper feeding, I’ve explained this. As per the contract, the pet shop accepts no responsibility if the care stipulations are broken. I keep telling you Mr. Detective, this is just a pet shop, nothing more.”

“Nothing more my ass,” Leon muttered, setting his now empty tea cup down and getting to his feet. “I’ll figure you out eventually D. The law still exists in Chinatown, and you aren’t outside of it.”

D just smiled and returned to his tea and Leon had the unsettling feeling that D was laughing at him. But then, it seemed like D was always laughing atthe people who came into his shop.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Since this was written for an assignment, it means there is research and a bibliography behind it, so if anyone is interested in said research here you go.
> 
> King, Homay. _Lost in Translation: Orientalism, Cinema, and the Enigmatic Signifier._ Duke University Press, 2010.  
>  Lynch, Karen. “Orientation vs Orientalism: Chinatown in Detective Narratives.” _Popular Culture Review_ , vol. 11, no. 1, Feb. 2000, pp. 13-30.  
> Oliver, Bill. “‘The Long Goodbye; and ‘Chinatown’: Debunking the Private Eye Tradition.” _Literature/Film Quarterly_ , vol. 3, no. 3, 1975, pp. 240-248. _JSTOR_ , JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/43795624.


End file.
